As the old adage goes…”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Starting a conversation is not about you but about the person you are engaging. I’ve been teaching about “Engage” for several years now. Here are some steps you can use:
1) Handshake
-Have a firm handshake. A lot can be said of a person’s self-esteem through a handshake.
2) Eye contact
-Use the 4-second rule. Maintain eye-to-eye contact for at least 4 seconds while shaking hands.
-This will elicit trust. Remember, “The Eyes are the Windows to the Soul.”
3) Smile
-When you smile at someone they automatically smile back at you.
-A smile increases your face value.
4) Get their name
-A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
-Ask them their name and repeat their name to them.
“Hi! I’m Harry. And you’re? I’m Jess. Hi Jess! It’s nice to meet you.
5) Build Rapport
-Be a good listener.
-Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
-Ask relevant questions to connect.
-Where are you from? What do you do? Etc.
6) Find Common Ground.
-Talk about areas of similar interest.
7) Give your calling card.
-Hand the card by holding both ends and with the front facing the recipient.
8) Shake their hands again, mention their name, and bid them farewell.
-“Nice to meet you Jess, Will be seeing you again.”
Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours. After your conversation, they will feel like you are full of wisdom when all you were doing is just listen to them.
The next time you meet or when you give this person a call, you won’t be a stranger anymore. You have opened the door for possibilities of a fruitful relationship.
Editor’s Note: This article is a guest post by Jayson Lo, an entrepreneur and public speaker. Visit his blog to read more about him!
Nice article. I particularly love this line: “Starting a conversation is not about you but about the person you are engaging.”
I’m pretty guilty on the name parts. There are days where I’d really remember and there are days where i’d like totally forget the second they give their names. -_- any tips on how to remember names better (i.e. you’re in a room full of people).
I think the default setting for a lot of people is to NOT put any effort in genuinely getting to know and remember the people they meet. Been guilty of this a lot of times as well!
@Colin Will write about how to remember names in a future article.
My silly opinion on how to remember names…
Look at them, once they mentioned their name. Say it many times in your mind. If it’s hard for you to spell, allow them to spell (but in cases where you are in a crowd), remember their names basing it on how they look like. Just make up some adjectives to their names…It’s not bad then, bad it’s helpful.
For example: Jenny (she’s pretty with that red dress), Mike (nice suit), James (serious type), Aaron (mole in the face) etc etc..
And repeat it again and again in your mind.
sorry some phrase where redundant…
“repeat it again”…
haha sorry for that…
tamaahhhhhhh